3 ways to best support a new momma's mental health postpartum...

...from a girl who was just in the thick of it.

Postpartum was a really dark time for me (both literally and figuratively). My little was born in November, so I was navigating postpartum during a cold, dark season - a season that I already had a history of struggling with seasonal depression. Now we add in crashing hormones, sleep deprivation, and a total loss of sense of self. Talk about a recipe for disaster.

While I absolutely love my little human, thinking back on those days, I have a deep, visceral response to just the thoughts of darkness and the overwhelming sense of loneliness.

While I navigated those early months, a few thoughts came up for me on ways people could support new moms postpartum (things I never thought of before having a baby). It has taken me a while to get those thoughts down on “paper,” but here we are (better late than never).

Here are three ways I think people can best support a new momma (and daddy) postpartum…

One. Bring them food. I never knew how much appreciation and love I would have for someone simply because they brought me food. It meant more than you know. My mother-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, stepmom, and grandma were saviors for me. One day, my stepmom brought over two home-cooked meals, and I almost burst into tears.

Another time, my sister left oatmeal butterscotch cookies on my doorstep because she heard it helped with milk production (she might as well have given me a million dollars because it felt the same).

My mother-in-law’s enchiladas… a hug to my soul.

I know food is simple, but man, it meant everything to me in those dark times. It meant more than feeding my body. It meant people cared. That was everything to me (Cue the tears right now. Sheesh. The trauma feels real still).

Another note on food before we jump to number two. Don’t forget that the transition back to work is brutal too. My mother-in-law brought us dinners a few times when I returned to work, and it was so freaking helpful. Going back to work was a b!@&h, but coming home to an already-done dinner was heaven.

Two. Offer to watch the little so mom AND dad can sleep. We had zero help in this department, and let me tell you, sleep deprivation kicked my a**. I’m convinced it’s the number one reason my mental health took such a hit. I NEVER slept (for months).

Here’s what I would have loved… Offer to come over in the evening or early morning and watch the little. I’m just spitballing ideas, but maybe take a 6 to midnight shift or a 5 to 10 am shift. If you’re feeling extra generous, offer to take a night (or two) shift. This would have been the world’s best gift. I’ve already told my step kiddos (and I’ll tell my little when he grows up) that I will come over when they have kids so they can sleep.

If you have the financial means, you can also hire a night nanny for the new parents or offer to buy a baby sleep training course. I had zero clue what I was doing or how to best support my little’s sleep or naps. I bought the Taking Cara Babies newborn course right out of the gates cause this momma was lost. While I never sleep-trained my little, the course helped me learn about wake windows, supporting naps, and how to help my little fall asleep at night.

Three. Offer any and all help. Offer to pick up groceries, see if they need help with their chores, volunteer your time to fold laundry, dust, or wash dishes. Shovel snow from their driveway (my neighbors did this on more than one occasion). See if momma needs a break to shower, get ready, or just breathe. Buy mom a massage. Heck, buy her a cozy pair of pjs or a new bathrobe. Bring her a coffee. Go for a walk with her. Be a shoulder for her to cry on or a safe space for her to say, “God, this is f@!&ing hard.”

So there you have it. Three ways I think you can best support a new momma’s mental health as she navigates postpartum.

I’d love to hear what you feel would’ve been helpful postpartum or what you love to do for new moms. Let’s get all the ideas we can in the comment section so we can show up for all the new momma’s.

Biggest hugs.